Sleepless in Halifax……

It amazes me when I wake up at 3am and look out my window that there are NO lights on in my building, or in the other ones around me.  Am I the ONLY person with insomnia in this part of town?

I was really hoping that I would be able to sleep through the night now that I’ve settled into my new place.  I think, since I moved here a month or so ago, I’ve had 2 nights where I have managed to sleep well.  I’ve resigned myself to waking up at all hours and then not being able to get back to sleep.  I’m even beginning to function on this way.  I have a friend who is constantly hassling me about the fact that I seem to function on 3-4 hours sleep and how unfair it is.   I of course, deny it, just think of how much more I could get done if I was actually getting a full 8 hours.

The other night it was almost a relief, when I had a nightmare about lightning striking a tree and a fire breaking out and burning everything in it’s way…that I bolted awake, only to have my phone ring 5 minutes later. It was good to have someone to talk to after the nightmare but it didn’t help me to get back to sleep.

I’m not sure if it’s my new place or if it’s just my body being so used to the panic and adrenaline that was going through it for so long, but when I surface from whatever dream I’m having it’s almost like my brain is there waiting….”oh good you’re awake!!” like a little kid.  It then starts telling me all the things that I really don’t want to think about at 230 in the morning.

I’ve taken over the counter sleeping pills, prescription ones, not drinking caffeine after 5pm, drinking wine, not drinking wine, walking, yoga before bed…sometimes the purring cat can help to get me back to sleep but nothing helps the waking up part. I think I have a new-found respect for insomniacs, how are they not crazy?

I keep hoping that this is just a temporary thing and that eventually my sleep patterns will return to normal.  I am a little terrified that this IS normal for me now.  I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to sleep through the night without waking up a few times but I would really love to be able to roll over and just go right back.  After a few hours, I usually do fall under, sometimes for an hour sometimes for 30 or 40 minutes, which can make me feel so groggy when I surface the next time.

Any suggestions would be welcome at this point.  As I’m typing this draft of my blog it’s quarter to 5 in the morning (Atlantic time for you folks elsewhere) it’s cold outside, -15 according to the weather app on my itouch, and clear.  I can hear the occasional truck making its way to the train yard, other than that it’s incredibly quiet outside.  Every once and awhile I can hear water rushing through the pipes in the building as someone flushes their toilet.   

Sometimes, I feel like I’m in one of those horror movies, where everyone is dead and the few people who are alive have no idea what’s going on and the zombies are knocking on the door…..humm maybe that’s my sleeping problem, zombies!  

Trying to Dream Big from the East Coast,

Samantha

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4 Responses to Sleepless in Halifax……

  1. Sheila says:

    Sam,
    Been there, done that….stress and anxiety messes with our minds; if your mind is not at ease it cannot rest, and if your mind cannot rest neither can your body.
    You are walking, that exercise is good for reducing stress….perhaps try kicking up that activity a notch or two to something more demanding and exerting . The anxiety is tougher, keeping busy and immersing yourself in your new world will give your mind less time to dwell on your fears and worries.
    This is what you have to look forward to my dear….its been about a year and a half since I relocated, and I still have some restless and sleepless nights…not because of old baggage on my mind, but because of life in my new world!!
    It takes some time, but it will get better….I promise 🙂
    Sheila

    • Break Free says:

      good to know that the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t just the train!! Thanks for the encouragment Sheila….it’s good to have!! I think most of my anxiety now is from the new world ….. just need to get a few things sorted and then all will be fine…. I hope! LOL!

  2. Sheila says:

    At 2:30am my eyes popped open…it’s now almost 5am and I am sleepless in Miami. I should be tired and fast asleep, we were out and about all day and spent the evening in South Miami. However, my mind wants to think and not sleep. It’s been one of those weeks; my newest client has been dragging their feet providing information (the work ethic here is very manana and drives me crazy) so I have been unable to move forward with their work….and it’s piling up. I also have a new gig at a local CPA office; new clients, new software, new taxation system….there is a lot of truth to the saying that it takes old dogs longer to learn new tricks. STRESS, STRESS, STRESS.
    Health challenges also continue, recovering from the surgery on my neck has gone slower than I would like and my dermatologist did another skin biopsy last week. I will not get the test results until next week and really hope it is not another melanoma. ANXIOUS, ANXIOUS, ANXIOUS.
    Keeping it together isn’t always easy…and I certainly have my meltdowns, fortunately I have been blessed with a very supportive partner who helps remind me my cup is half full and not half empty.

    • Break Free says:

      I’m going to have to send you my number here….I was awake ’til 5 as well, for a different reason – my phone rang at 130 but that was a GOOD thing since I had been worrying. Ok, now it’s time to take your own advice lady….walking – especially on a beach if you have one close by….lots of deep breaths…..oh and hitting the computer I find helps a great deal! baseball bats work well! : )
      I’m also really glad to know that I wasn’t your most STRESSFUL client! LOL! and congrats geting a job at the local office – your talents will not go to waste and before you know it you will be up and running like it’s the easiest thing in the world! I hope the results from your tests come back clean – please keep me in the loop!!
      I’ll send you that number! LOL! xo Thanks for the comments it’s always great to hear that people are reading and I LOVE getting responses!

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