Today is my birthday, I turn 45….wow! I can’t believe it, I don’t feel 45, I’ve been told I don’t look it, so the only evidence (aside from my memory) that I have that I am this age is my birth certificate.
I’ve heard before that a lot of women feel they “come into their own” in their 40’s and I hate to perpetuate the cliche but it just might be true. Although I’m still afraid of things I’m not scared to actually do them anymore. If I screw up, then hey, at least I tried.
Yesterday, my last class of the day was a PDP 300 class – still one of the touchy-feely classes – as I call them. I think I mentioned that we’re working on visualization and positive thinking? It’s really interesting to talk to a bunch of 20 somethings about this, especially remembering what I was like at their age. They seem to be ok with the positive thinking aspect but not the “universe” part in it. It was a really interesting conversation. What makes me mention this was that they seem to feel it’s silly to be afraid of trying something, to step outside of your comfort zone.
I wonder, were we like that at that age? I don’t think so, I think that I’m one of those people who has become bolder with age and that I was afraid to try things when I was younger. Not all my classes are like this but these guys have no trouble trying things out, which is great. I think I’m still nervous about failing but I don’t think that stops me from trying anymore, it used to. I think that things work out more often than not so it’s ok to try.
I guess I’m doing a lot of retrospective with my life these days, turning 45, moving to the cottage for a few months, only working part-time (not by choice), trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up….when exactly does that happen do you think? Changing my life so drastically, that sometimes I feel like “Alice in Wonderland” and like Alice, wonder how the heck I got here and how do I get back?
The only way is forward, so making the choices that are good for me and my life are the important things to do. Following my instincts and sticking to my new “rules” of NO MORE CRAP & APPRECIATE THE THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN ACCOMPLISHED I think the next decade of my life will be a good one.
The adventure never seems to stop. I was asked today if my life today is where I thought it would be, my answer? “No, but I think it’s on the right path”.
Dreaming Big from the East Coast,