For some reason, even though I only had 1 day of teaching this week it has been a tough week. Between the traveling and the car decisions and other silly things I’m wiped out. I know that it seems crazy to those of you that work a 9-5 job 5 days a week (something I would very much like to do!) but I was incredibly glad this morning when I woke up at 530 to a grey foggy day, to just roll over and snuggle back under the covers.
I did make some “promises” to myself before I fell back to sleep, for the next month I’m putting myself back on a “diet”, it seems like a good idea. When I say “diet” I don’t necessarily mean just food, I mean everything. Since I have this time available I’m going to develop a routine for myself, yoga and walking everyday, writing for an hour everyday, to get that story out of my brain that I started two years ago. Eating good food will also be on my list and of course the big things……sorting out the apartment, job and life issues.
I guess June will be my month to contemplate what my life is going to be about. We’re always changing what happens day to day but hopefully reaching for a goal. I think my goals have fallen by the wayside a bit and I need to get them back on track.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my Ex’s life these days, it seems that his life is going so much better without me in it. We split up officially Thanksgiving 2010 but stayed together as a “couple” until I moved the end of Jauary 2011. Since then, he’s remarried, and is having a baby later on this year, 2 of his siblings are also having babies (1 born this week). However his father is dying and that must be incredibly tough to deal with during these happy times. I truly am happy for him that he has found someone to love and to have a wonderful life with as a matter of fact I saw this for his future and am glad that it came true for him.
But what seems so obvious for someone else seems so hard to attain for ourselves. I had a clear vision of what I wanted when I moved here now it seems to have become foggy. I don’t want to just float along, that’s not the kind of gal I am, I don’t need everything written in stone but a few basics are good for me. I like being impetuous and unexpected I think it’s good for your soul but I also like to know that there is a basis of security for me to land in, hence the need for another or additional job.
All this went through my head at 530 this morning, it’s a wonder I manged to get back to sleep at all. I know that all these questions will have answers and I know that they won’t all happen at once. I’ll start with the ones I can do immediately, a good breakfast, walk and yoga then some work, with breaks in between to walk on the beach with my feet in the water. It truly is amazing how restorative salt water can be.
And sleep….that was the other thing I promised myself way more sleep…..that promise was made just before I dozed off.
Dreaming Big from the East Coast,