5 years….where has the time gone?

Mom at the cottage

This is a very fuzzy picture of my mom at our cottage before I was born.  I’ve posted this picture before for some reason it’s the only one I have in my computer at the moment.  I have a ton of pictures of her all packed away in storage but none on my actual hard drive.

It’s been 5 years today, since Mom died, where has the time gone?  In some instances it seems like it happened so long ago and then when I really think about it 5 years isn’t a long time at all.

In 2007 we bought our cottage.  Mom didn’t get to see it in person so I dragged my computer in to the hospital for her to see the pictures of the “shack” that we had bought and to get decorating advice.  We told her of all the plans we had and that we hoped that she would be able to come out and see the cottage when she felt better.  Unfortunately, that never happened.

Mom had never been to the East coast and wanted to visit.  When she died I brought 1/2 her ashes from TO to the cottage (the other 1/2 I buried with my Dad in Aurora at his grave).  I bought a lilac tree, her favorite and put her under the little tree facing the ocean to watch over the cottage.  The tree is thriving and every spring and fall on my way in or out of the cottage I make sure to roll the window down and wish her hello or good bye.

Mom and I had an odd relationship, we loved each other but didn’t really like one another, we were at odds far to often.  I can’t really say that I miss her a lot, there are times however when I’m sitting watching the ocean that I wish she had a chance to see this place, I think she would have liked it.  There are times when like all girls I do miss my mom, without her I wouldn’t be the woman I am today.

I’ll have a drink later on in her honour, she was a friend, a sister, an aunt and my mom, and the world is a little less interesting with out her in it.

Dreaming Big from the East Coast,


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10 Responses to 5 years….where has the time gone?

  1. hobbyjunkies says:

    Really beautiful memory and beautiful gesture, the lilac.

  2. Mich says:

    Time does go by so quickly….thinking of you today xox

  3. Grace says:

    Samantha, you do have a way with words. I clearly understand this mother-daughter relationship as I feel the same about my mom. “you loved eachother but not really liked eachother and were at odds end way to many times” I didn’t know you took half of her ashes with you to the cottage!
    What a wonderful Tribute to her. I too will have a drink to mother daughter relationship and our friendship tonight. Thinking of you today and ALWAYS. xoxo

    • Break Free says:

      Thanks for the thoughts, hope it was a good drink….I know you have those moments with your mom as well, just out of frustration….

      The ashes at the cottage is actually a very funny story but I didn’t think today was the day to tell it…..maybe tomorrow …. LOL!

      Miss you and thinking of you always as well….talk soon ‘k? xo xo

  4. oreneta says:

    Ohhhhh, I didn’t know she had died. That makes me sad, to put it simplistically. I don’t know quite what to say, but you certainly have described this beautifully. She certainly did make the world around her more interesting, that’s my memory too. *sigh* Hugs.

    • Break Free says:

      I thought I told you in one of our 1st big catch up emails…sorry if I didn’t….course our relationship didn’t improve throughout the years..LOL! and she would have HATED that “the boy” and I split even though she wasn’t to keen on him in the 1st place.

      Thanks for the hugs and I’m so glad you have memories of her as well…..it’s nice. xo xo

  5. Wow. I can’t believe it’s 5 years. For me it’s 5 months and I”m still struggling with it. I”m going to plant mom’s japanese maple at my dads house with some of her ashes. We gave it to her as a gift in the hospital because it was her favorite tree and it sat in a pot at her window. The rest of her ashes I’m going to take up to Lake Superior with me in September and set her free there. She liked the idea of the area being occupied by ancient ojibway.
    I think your mom would be proud of you even if you didn’t always get along. You have accomplished so much in the last year.

    • Break Free says:

      What a lovely tribute to your mom Kelly, she would absolutely LOVE that you are doing those things for her.She loved her garden so much…..

      Not sure if Mom would be proud..I think she would have been disappointed that I left “the boy” but sometimes you need to do what’s right for you and eventually everyone around you realizes that you made the right choices….I’d like to think she would have been proud at some point! xo xo

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